2006/08/22 ...
I think i should learn to be a little less expectant, as in, live my life as though it's my last day alive...n live it to the fullest..doing the things i really really wanna do if i were the last person alive...
So that, when surprises come, i'll see them as special...
Surprises...i miss those sweet little things...i do.
I think i'm getting affected easily...by pasts which don't belong to me...what the heck...
Life should be simple...so should love.
It's about being happy with whom u love. It's not about the status. It's not about the planning n worrying for the future (who can predict it anyway?). It's about living in the now. Spontaneousness(yes that's the correct word). Giving your loved one full attention while with him/her. Being happy living in the now.
Being happy can be simple...
That's L.O.V.E.
So simple, yet often not understood.
I'm just beginning to grasp it. Love is beautiful. Past. Present.
Posted by the babe @ 9:34 PM
2006/08/19 ...
i'm losing weight! or so i believe..that's what my weighing machine told me anyway. =P Let's hope it keeps going...yeah!
Had this stupid water bubble in my right eye conjunctiva (the transparent film above the white part of my eye)...scared the hell outta me...called viv n she guessed it to be 'just a retention cyst'. What the HELL?? It's so freaking scary i feel that there's a blister in my eye n she uses the word 'just'??? then she said i'd better go to A&E... wateva...
Posted by the babe @ 4:31 PM
2006/08/17 ...
fell out with my mum...so stupid...sigh...
anyways, am looking to rent an apartment at whampoa or thomson area...cosy 2 to 3-rm flat...budget $500..got lobang call me wor... =)
time to be independent...
i will survive...
lol...
Posted by the babe @ 6:09 PM
2006/08/14 ...
that little xiao nu ren...
Posted by the babe @ 3:58 PM
...
i'm happy...cos of the assurance i got yesternite...it wasn't much..but it's enough to make me happy...women! sigh~ lol...
it's a wonder how come i always manage to help others pack their rooms while mine remains in disarray...urgh...i need boxes? or do i need to sit down n think about where what belongs before i start...(somehow the latter makes more sense...no point having a roomful of boxes...) i need a magazine shelf...(ask mummy if tt's feasible...) i need a erm...erm.... kk...i'll go through those stuff AFTER this...
u know..i like how my life is falling into place...BECAUSE i made a conscious effort to. Somehow it's working well...so i'm not complaining...only thing now is my family n friends time...that needs to get into order...*smileS widely* oh oh! end of the month is clear-my-wardrobe-n throw-out-fat-clothes time! cos i'm losing weight~ muahaha~~!!! i will not be more than 50kg by the end of the month. Just u wait.... (u know...spelling it out for the world to see makes me put in more effort cos of the kia-malu-ness...) oh silver silver...lol...
alton is sleeping right behind my backside as i'm blogging...sometimes i wonder if dogs dream...n if they do...what about...? *shrugz*
Who dreams of me....i wonder... Sometimes it's a very pleasant feeling to know someone actually dreamt of u...nice ones of course..not the nightmares... =D
Posted by the babe @ 3:22 PM
2006/08/11 ...
i see him...n i see us...so many expressions...sometimes funny...sometimes not all that nice...sometimes even making us mad...but then...in the end...everything will be good n nice n furry n good-to-hug... ^.^
Posted by the babe @ 8:51 PM
...
that super guai lan face...haha...
Posted by the babe @ 8:49 PM
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acting plastic...man he's good...
Posted by the babe @ 8:44 PM
2006/08/08 ...
u know...i'm starting to look forward to having a successful career together...
SW said that we'll break up once my career kicks off...n it'll not be because i want it, but it'll be u who will ask to break up... SW said he's always been accurate in his predictions...but i so so so very want to break the curse... Will u? Will u walk with me together? Will we hold hands n walk through this together? I want to believe we will...i will do what i can to keep us tight...but will u try? Tell me we will, darling....i need to hear it...
Posted by the babe @ 2:34 PM
2006/08/07 ...
i'm feeling happier today...at least a lot happier than the past few days...when he said he wanted time-off...bleah...that feeling sucks....
have yet to talk to sandra...promised raymond i would...he needed answers...i know how tt feels...
i think my career path in the entertainment trade is becoming increasingly brighter... we'll see how this babe fights, ya? i will be prettier...oh yeah~ ;)
Posted by the babe @ 11:31 PM
2006/08/05 ...
You will never realise how much u love, until u realise how much it hurts...
Time off...is hard for me...i know it is hard for u...but i don't think u will ever understand how much it hurts...i'm crying at work, n trying to avoid being seen by my colleagues in the so-very-small shop...i can't eat...i can't sleep...i can't even force myself to drink... i never thought u could arrive here in this very place in my heart...n i don't want to believe it...i want to think that i'm feeling this way because i'm over-reacting, that i'm being too dramatic...like how i always am with you...i want to think i made myself believe u matter this much...
Can we stand the test of time...can we? Will we? I need to know this...n i need to know ur decision...i need the answers, while u find the answers in you...so many questions...so many left unanswered...i know i can't rush u baby... i feel like i found a lump in my heart n took many tests n now i'm waiting for the doctor's test results...fearing for the worst...now i understand how that feels... I thought u'd be just another person i can get over quickly...i never thought i'd have thought wrong...especially when it comes to you...
Even when it's a mock breakup...(u don't see "time-off" as one..but i do...it is...)...i feel what it's like without u in my life...it's not like u're taking the time to think n to decide what u want...it's as if u're testing to let me see what i want...but darling...don't u already know? Don't u know what i think, what i feel, n what i want? I believe u do, don't u?
I'm trying to understand u...that u're confused...that u want to find out if u love me because i tell u i love u...that if it's real...of if it has become a habit that i'm there... I will be patient...though my heart doesn't allow tt...i will shut it up n lock it in my wardrobe drawer...until u let it out...
I never realised how much i love...until i realise how much it hurts...
L.O.V.E...
I thought i loved love...i was wrong...It's not love i love...it's you...
N i also know you, no, not the one i'm talking abt above...but u...might get very upset once u read this entry...
Please don't...what we share...is so much more than relationship love...it's something so much more close to heart... I don't know if u know what i'm saying...but i see our lives locked tight for a long time...if i may claim...a lifetime...even if u end up marrying someone else n me choosing to lead my life with somebody else...you're not the one i can be with now...u're not the one i'm with now...but u're also the one whom i've always been with...who's always there in my mind...I'm sorry i've to hurt u time n again...thru my blog entries...know i'm always there with u...though i can't be yours...you've been there for me so much....so much...i treasure u. i really do.
Posted by the babe @ 7:27 PM