2006/06/30 ...
fuck...y am i crying...
u got intimate with someone else...yah...shared kisses n touched her body...n stopped there n u think everything's okay? that u did nothing wrong coz u pulled back? u got close to other girls....n i don't mean girl. i mean GIRLS. u felt urges. i wondered y i even bothered to be on the pill when i'm like having sex once a week or less. u felt no urge for me. nothing. n u get happy when other girls notice u. What do u think i am...a spare sex object?
That was 15/05/06
tell me how u feel towards me. Now. Today. N In the FUTURE.
i just want the tears to stop.
Posted by the babe @ 7:39 PM
...
guess who i was trying to sneak a kiss with...
can't tell here...but he's got braces now!!!! argh!!! haha
Posted by the babe @ 1:53 AM
...
u know darling, i do love u...if not...i won't still be here anymore...u know that, don't you?
maybe i'm tired. maybe i'm losing heart. maybe i just need myself back. maybe...
Posted by the babe @ 1:50 AM
...
there're so many things i miss....
reading.
standing at the window watching rain fall.
flipping thru encyclopedias meant for kids.
dancing on stage.
singing...WELL...on stage.
shopping with my babes....(my babes r namely qt, ataq, n oh-gosh-i-almost-forgot swyn)
bitching with them.
sharing heart-to-heart with them.
them.
being soooooooo properly n head-over-heels-n-topple in love.
where did silver ang disappear to?
Posted by the babe @ 1:42 AM
2006/06/29 ...
quite happy today, minus the fact tt i went out with an idiot who asked me out for dinner n when the bill came, didn't nudge until i told him i'll only be paying half...n he claims to be from ri n vjc...what an idiot he can be man...my goodness gracious god...y did u even create ppl like tt? for amusement or what...*sigh*
the relief came when i met up with weiheng for coffee about an hour plus later...*wipes sweat*
it's always comfortable hanging out with him, for some strange reason...like there's always some unspoken understanding about what to do or say when each other is around, n still keep the tiresome boredom out of the way. =) thanx to him, i stopped thinking i was stupidly demanding because they exist...these people who treat me the way i like to be treated....
it was short la..think just an hour or so...somehow the first appointment seemed dreadfully longer n the latter seemed to just fly past....
anyway, was quite happy to be home before 11...1 reason was because my dad broke the lock n mummy had to had it n i didn't have the key n if i came back late i won't be able to get home...(what a mouthful...lol..)
didn't really attempt much but had a nice talk with darryl...about my new drama show coming up n how i'll be bz the whole of august n basically...what my mindset is like...how i like to be treated...it's weird when i have to tell people how i like guys to treat me...n then be told that i have to understand that he is himself n doesn't do things tt way...*shrugz*
call me nonchalant...but i'd rather like to see myself as being more easy on things...instead of hoping things will happen a certain way n getting all frustrated when they don't happen.
yup, taking things in my stride, darling, not nonchalant. *smilez*
Posted by the babe @ 2:01 AM
2006/06/27 ...
oh yes..how could i forget to blog this...my car got scraped because a traffic police (those white things on white bikes) wanted to stop a speeding car, cut into my lane all of a sudden, causing me to brake (didn't manage to..only did a skid), slide, n hit his left box...n my poor car light got smashed n the area around it spoilt. stupid. u just do your business ma...anyhow drive...then in the end i gotta go make a police report (cos it's a stupid government vehicle), go to idac to make a report n an inspection, then go to my car mechanic so they can do a third party claim for me (heh heh..this is the part i like...how often can u copy down a traffic police vehicle's number n the driver's ic, n then make THEM pay...lol...)
anyway, it caused me inconvenience for like 4 days coz i had to send it for inspection n repair. n considering i'm such a night person...midnight cab fare for these few days...euuu....*frowns*
glad my car is finally back...*hugs car n kisses car bodykit* lol...
Posted by the babe @ 2:14 PM
...
qiu babe came over to my place to stay last friday night, or should i say, saturday morning..lol..
trust u to be so 'hao peng you' to come all the way to my place just to talk to me. it's something not many people would even bother to attempt, what with having no car n no chauffeur.. *muackz* i love the talk we had...it's been a while since i chatted with a friend...n i mean a friend..till the wee hours of the morning..where would i be without u...to bitch with that is...lol...
maybe some time down the road...we'll look back again...n smile (cos we've had such an exciting life...especially love life...lol)
Posted by the babe @ 2:10 PM
2006/06/20 ...
when i decide to walk away...what do u do...
1.feel helpless n lost, n do nothing...since i've already decided to leave...
2.chase after me, grab my hand, pull me tight n tell me u don't ever want to see me go
do u know, would u ever know...what i would've liked u to do...
Posted by the babe @ 4:25 AM
...
i'd rather u force me to stay n force me to make love to u, than be considerate n let me leave depressed. i just want u to know me..is that so difficult...
every time i cry, u never know how to make me stop...
it's so easy...u know...hug me tight even when i struggle to get u away from me, kiss me on the lips even if i don't want to kiss u... i seem like i don't want u...but if u believe that...all this while...did u ever take me for somebody who loves u...will someone who loves u reject u...
u say that sometimes when i cry for a reason, ur words can comfort me...n there r times when i cry for no wrong reason...n there's nothing u can do...
dear...i never cry for no wrong reason...but u were not relentless in finding out what's making me sad...what's really making me sad...
sometimes...i cry harder...when i know u don't know how to make me stop...
i don't want to spell out how i want you to console me when i'm down...how awkward...to instruct those around u how to make u feel better...when u're feeling so sad..so depressed...so hurt...
Posted by the babe @ 4:10 AM
2006/06/18 ...
i didn't know he could look so retarded...lol...cute nonetheless...
Posted by the babe @ 2:30 AM
...
Posted by the babe @ 2:24 AM
...
tell me this looks nice...oh yes..for some strange reason...the person in the magazine looks like angeline..lol...
Posted by the babe @ 2:10 AM
...
can't help being pretty...
Posted by the babe @ 1:59 AM
...
darling just told me this
dear dear...
i love u
remember that ok?
*hugs*
isn't tt sweet?
Posted by the babe @ 1:55 AM
...
i'm back from KL~
bet many of u don't even know i've been gone~
but anyway, i'm now a certified hydrotherapist~ (for the very ignorant n vocab-poor...hydrotherapist means someone who uses water to help heal people of different ailments)
n stupid...i thought i got over hagen. i still think i did, a little...but wat the hell does a little mean...
he acts weird to me, n doesn't admit it...
i did wonder if i'm the weird one, or am i just being sensitive...but i've come to the conclusion tt i believe i've been normal. i believe...lol...
anyway...i've been a closer friend to angeline these days...n i'm glad i did go for the KL trip... coz now other than the crazy qt cancerian, i've got the crazy ataq gemini-cancerian too..lol... Love u babes~ *muackz*
Posted by the babe @ 12:42 AM
2006/06/11 ...
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Posted by the babe @ 1:10 AM
2006/06/10 ...
i bought this book..."Soul Coaching"...somehow i felt i had to buy it...it's one of those books u look at n decide that u're going to get it, despite not knowing exactly what to expect. For some strange reason, this book comes at a time when i think i'm feeling lost, like i'm forgetting who i am, how it feels like to be in awe, it's almost like i lost the child in me...when sitting by the reservoir reading was something refreshing...
Somehow this book teaches how to get in touch with yourself again...to connect with the inner soul n feel...the air around u...love...the sounds...everything... i think this is going to help me... *smilez*
Posted by the babe @ 11:41 PM
...
yippee!! i'm officially 21! yeah!!! time to go to yangtze to visit the sleazy cinema before it closes down...lol...
i had quite a good turnout, surprisingly, for both my friends party n my family party..i thought ppl wouldn't bother about this poor girl here who thought she's been forgotten...n oh!!! the bestest part...my PRESENTS!!!!! muahahahha~ i'd take individual pictures n post them...now..i'm kinda lazy...hur~hur~hur~...
oh yes...this post was meant for june 4..but i think my blogsite can't change date...boohoo...*sobz*
Posted by the babe @ 11:35 PM